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11/25/2025

The idea of suicide is starting to become more beautiful to me.

11/24/2025

I was thinking about the mountain of plushies my sister has, and why we as humans need to keep such useless and unnecessary accessories in our life. And no, having a plushie as a comfort object or something you cling on to that makes you feel happy or safe is excluded. I'm talking about have a HUGE collection of Sonny Angels, Labubus, Squishmellows, and they're just...there. They don't provide any use,they're just "decor". I have a plushie collection, but most of them are really old or were too pricey for me to give away without feeling guilty. Then I started thinking about all kinds of commercial items that seem like the next big thing, but are nevertheless worthless objects painted as "cool" or "trending" in order to keep our fleeting amusement satisfied.

so what should you (If anyone is reading this) take away from this? CAPITALISM THRIVES OFF OF OUR NEVER-ENDING THIRST FOR ENTERTAINMENT. GET A HOBBY, ANYTHING TO NOT GIVE INTO THE MODERN WEB PROPAGANDA WE ARE FED.

11/23/2025

Forgot how much i HATED using the neocities built in code editor. they need to add a preview feature for the love of god im getting sick of this shit. anyways yes i put up the website by now and im so fucking nervous, but im sure it'll be fine ;-;

11/22/2025

I get too comfortable when im around people irl or offline. Sometimes I think of breaking the promise I made to my dad about not cutting myself. And I forgot to bring my razor. Faaannnntastic.

11/21/2025

So far, so good with the blog layout! I tweaked it in school, but it's obviously still subject to change.

11/20/2025

UPDATE: 5:11 PM KARKAT KARKAT!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

UPDATE: 2:43 PM Dismissal is finally here! I'm feeling a bit better and I think my index page is complete! I don't know if i want to upload this to neocities just yet, I'm feeling nervous

I kinda just ruined my whole day by giving attitude to my arabic teacher I want this day to end already |:/

11/15/2025

Cried in front of my therapist today. Embarassing.

11/14/2025

I hate fridays. Well, not really but friday lunchtime in school. Because that's the time when my stupid-as-shit previous 5th grade teacher makes her students read in the library. And mind you, the library is the only place that brings me comfort in the midst of all the inevitable social interaction. They took up all the damn seats, so I'm currently typing this on the stairs. The least they could do is be quite. But they're 5th graders, what do you fucking expect? Anyways I hate being in a K-12 school because these middle and elemantry schoolers make me pray for a school shooting to happen sometimes.